i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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