are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
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