That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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