I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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