You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize