Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
