i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
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Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
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She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.