My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
