You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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