Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
