I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
