I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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