when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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