i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
