I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
