Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
