Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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