I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
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Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
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I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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