i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
