i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
