so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
