What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize