Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So much rum. So many feels.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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