I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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