We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
