What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i think i have herpe
just one?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
