buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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