i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
