Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I believe in your delicious
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
