i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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