Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
