dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
