I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
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I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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