Ambien. No doubt about it.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
