I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
