Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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