remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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