I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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