My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
