She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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