I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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