I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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