Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
