just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
