Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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