can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
