Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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