i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
