So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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