Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
