is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Randomize
