(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Enjoy the penises
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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