Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
