please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
They took my balls.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
