You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
