Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So much rum. So many feels.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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