oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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