Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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