I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is Oprah even human
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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